It has been a short while since my previous post. I was doing pretty well with posting in October. This is what happened . . .
Disclaimer: For those who do not know or experience much loss, I hate you! No, I don't really hate you, but I want to arrange a meeting so you can let me kick you . . . or possibly just slap you with some Oscar Meyer ham! If you do not understand, you're just going to have to search old posts or something.
Let's get back to topic: October ended with Halloween and November began with a costume party at Sherilyn's and Allston's.
All seemed well, as far as I can remember, during the first weeks of November. I planned on spending some time with Sherilyn, but somehow it just did not happen. Mid-month, I began to worry a little although a little irregularity did not trouble me so much in the past. I came to a realization that the days of the past are long gone. New days require a different perspective. These and future days have high expectations and necessarily demand cautious behavior. Open your mind. See what might have previously been missed. Hear what might have been previously inaudible. Discouraged by the decrease in new postings for interesting opportunities, my lack of interviews, and the plummeting of confidence led me to another realization: my new perspective may not be the right new perpective. My open mind, seeing eyes, and listening ear thought, saw and heard more than my heart would accept. The problem, evidently, was that this new perspective turned out to be a wild imagination. Good thing I realized this, or all I know would be in serious trouble.
Moving on . . . directly after a realization often follows change. Or promise to change. With promise, comes obligation. With obligation, comes a necessity of communication (if at least to courteously request an extension or touch base with progress of meeting that obligation). Lack of this communication will only result in disappointment. It is amazing how people expect your trust as they continue to disappoint you. Have I ever disappointed you? Have I apologized and made up for it, yet? Sometimes people are unaware that their lack of action disappoints. I admit that I too am guilty of this.
So, at what point do you put your foot down and demand attention? When is the appropriate time and place for an ultimatum? Or is the lowering of expectations the only method of protecting yourself from disappointing people? Well, this is what happens when you choose the expectations lowering method: you lose!
However, what you you get from loss? I will definitely get back to this topic, because I did not even get near the place where I wanted to take this title. Due to time constraints, I must abandon this topic and begin a new one for now. Maybe I'll post the new topic separately to avoid confusion.
New Addition to this blog: (01/12/2008 @ 9:30pm)
Let's elaborate where I left off: when I said to protect yourself from disappointing people, I do not want you to misunderstand. I did not mean to lower your expectations so that you do not disappoint others, rather I meant to lower your expectations to protect yourself from people who would disappoint you. Maybe I should have worded that better, but then again, why not vent when you are venting?
Back to Loss: What do you get from loss? Contrary to poular beliefs, I have experienced much loss. Therefore, I will not need to arrange a meeting with myself to either kick or slap myself. The end of November and the begining of December brought a great deal of loss for me. Thanksgiving 2007 was not the best. I was feeling pretty lethargic at odd hours of the day. I had trouble sleeping at night. My senses were hightened and I could not stand the smell of ice. I lacked motivation to complete daily tasks and lost most confidence to succeed in anything. I spent hours sleeping away my depression thinking I would wake up to a better outlook. Soon after, I was starting to believe that it was making things worse. I spent several unconsecutive hours contemplating a way to get it together. I found that the shower is a great place for these hours as it imaginatively washes away the negativity. I was begining to feel sorry for myself, my girls, my husband, my family, and my life. I had to snap out of it. It's a difficult place to be.
I felt guilty for not seeing my family on Thanksgiving night. Dad came into town, but I just didn't feel like going to Atlanta. The next day, Jill and Nicole went to Union City to get something done on Nicole's car.
Falling asleep at the computer . . . To Be Continued . . .
Maybe I should have worded that better, but then again, why not vent when you are venting? 
Therefore, I will not need to arrange a meeting with myself to either kick or slap myself.
The end of November and the begining of December brought a great deal of loss for me. Thanksgiving 2007 was not the best. I was feeling pretty lethargic at odd hours of the day. I had trouble sleeping at night. My senses were hightened and I could not stand the smell of ice. 
I lacked motivation to complete daily tasks and lost most confidence to succeed in anything. I spent hours sleeping away my depression thinking I would wake up to a better outlook. Soon after, I was starting to believe that it was making things worse. I spent several unconsecutive hours contemplating a way to get it together. I found that the shower is a great place for these hours as it imaginatively washes away the negativity. I was begining to feel sorry for myself, my girls, my husband, my family, and my life. I had to snap out of it. It's a difficult place to be.
